Secret secret, I've got a secret

[gleamed]

Hang on to your butts! It's time for...

THE IC SECRETS MEME EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE

We got 85 secrets. What a great turnout! Thank you so much to everyone who participated. Now the fun begins! After you've perused our great gallery of secrets, ICly respond with your characters' reactions! Feel free to have them respond anonymously if they'd be too shy about responding "logged in". Respond to others! Shenanigans ensue! Without further ado...


1.

[ Once I peed in a coconut. ]


2.

[ Attention Luceti: long cat is long ]


3.

[ It doesn't matter if you don't return my feelings. As selfish as it may be, all I need is you by my side. ]


4.

[ You were right. I was naive about the world. But what am I supposed to do now? ]


5.

[ For a long time, I was angry with myself for letting it happen. For having failed to fight off the Shift. But now I'm not sure I know what to feel anymore. Even if we hadn't meant for it to happen, I can't help but remember the good in it. And I find myself thinking about it most days, the more I try not to. Not only the physical aspect of it, but how it felt to have someone with me by my side. What it was like to feel human again. ]


6.

[ Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman are very noisy. This is Nicholas Cage. ]


7.

[ No one's ever needed me before / It makes me want to be a decent person ]


8.

[ True seeing is within. ]


9.

[ They gave me hope for the future. They stole it all away again. They've taken everything from me. I have nothing else to lose. ]


10.

[ I'm homesick everyday, but even then, I don't want to go back. Is there something wrong with me? ]


11.

[ I killed your sister. Sorry about that. She got better. ]


12.

[ Grow to be even stronger. You have so much love around you. ]


13.

[ Sophie. Jonah. Noah. How long until they become this? ]


14.

[ I want to join the Malnosso. It would be for your own good. ]


15.

[ I know what I want us to be. So why can't I just go for it? ]


16.

[ I wish the solution didn't mean separating. ]


17.

[ I'm so used to living on my own / So please be patient / It will take time for me to adjust to this. ]


18.

[ Let's fly! :) ]


19.

[ You saved me. Thank you. I wasn't sure you knew. ]


20.

[ This is home and family to me. ]


21.

[ Death is his gift and he's bled into me. It's only a matter of time before he gets you, too. No one is safe... ]


22.

[ You're a good person. Let's be friends... ]


23.

[ Will you be my starfish buddy? ]


24.

[ don't waste your time on him / he's nothing but trouble ]


25.

[ I wish we could stay here forever. ]


26.

[ I realized once that there is a life that I ascribe actual value to. And when I think about this, sometimes, I realize that there may be a number of such lives. I'd rather you not have died. Any of you. ]


27.

[ It's hard for me to not think about living in your shadow when you're right there next to me. But now you're one of my best friends. It's weird. But I'm glad. ]


28.

[ Recently I felt lonely for the first time. I missed someone. No, more than one. And I wonder if you knew my true self, if you knew how many lives I have taken, If you knew how cruel I could be. Would you all leave me behind and bring that loneliness back? ]


29.

[ luceti changes all of us / i just wish it hadn't made me worse. ]


30.

[ This is how it feels to listen to you. Isn't it beautiful? ]


31.

[ I tapped that. ]


32.

[ "I love you, too." I already know how you feel, but I still want to hear those words. ]


33.

[ I'm glad we got to be family ]


34.

[ I hate that you have a life here, a life that I can't touch. It's petty and stupid but there it is. ]


35.

[ I don't hate it half as much as I say I do. ]


36.

[ i've bloody well been sleeping alone for a whole year (which makes this my loneliest year in a great long time) ]


37.

[ Sometimes I wonder if things would be easier if you were still here. But you would just punch me in the shoulder and call me a sissy. ]


38.

[ I really think you can do it! ]


39.

[ I died. I feel empty. ]


40.

[ I want them to be wrong about you but they're probably right ]


41.

[ Life is a curse. And this you shall know all too well in time, every waking moment of your existence. I promise you that. ]


42.

[ I care for you both very deeply. But I doubt sometimes, that either feeling could be love. ]


43.

[ I see the differences. I understand them more and more as time goes on. But I still believe that we can be happy here. ]


44.

I know I shouldn't, but I wish my friends were here.


45.

[ I'll come clean if you will. ]


46.

[ Being around you makes me nervous. ]


47.

[ Everything was much easier when I still hated you. ]


48.

[ to everyone i love: there are still so many things i can't-shan't-won't tell you. it's nothing personal. but there are some tragedies you kinda have to be there for. Besides, you'd hate me if you knew the things i'd done; i've allowed be done to me; i've said; i haven't said; i've thought; i've wished; i've wanted. not just back home. here, too. ]


49.

[ Believe in the strength you already have inside of you. We can see it. You should too! ]


50.

[ Oswald is the best cartoon character ever. I'm so glad I could meet him in person. Everyone should ask him for an autograph! ]


51.

[ Sometimes, I'm afraid. that I could never completely forgive you. ]


52.

[ do you still think about that night? I do. ]


53.

[ I'm starting to forget things. About home. It's really scary. ]


54.

[ Thanks. ]


55.

[ You're my family / I ain't had one of those in a long time. Thanks. ]


56.

[ I want to toast you and all we've been through but we'd get drunk. ]


57.

[ One day you are gonna wake up and realize that you are the hero and I am the monster ]


58.

[ Sometimes I wonder how it would be to have a girlfriend. Even though I know such things are not meant for me. ]


59.

[ Luceti needs more cookies, too! maybe Oreos. Oreos are good. they remind me of home! ]


60.

[ Luceti totally needs more candy!!! ]


61.

[ I don't want to go home. ]


62.

[ I hate how it is you make me feel. But I ache for it, all the same. I think I loved you, once. ]


63.

[ If you end up dying after all, I'll laugh. You really do deserve it. ]


64.

[ I hate being alone. I don't want to be alone. But I think people would be better without me. ]


65.

[ you're still a stinkbrain but you're also my best friend ]


66.

[ People here are nice. Nicer than I've deserved. But is it worth being actual friends? I mean, it can't last in a place like this. ]


67.

[ I want to help everyone get home but I think I'm way over my head ]


68.

[ I feel like you are hiding something from me / But I do not possess the courage to confront you / I sincerely hope that my intuition is wrong or I fear I will be consumed with nothing but regret ]


69.

[ I like your hair better now. ]


70.

[ I don't want to go home. But if the opportunity to go back there arose, I couldn't forgive myself for staying here. I'm sorry. ]


71.

[ Without all of you, I don't know how I'd survive this nightmare. You've taught me so much and shown me your hearts in ways I never thought possible. You are my friends and my family. I love each and every one of you. Thank you. ]


72.

[ I think this is more like it. ]


73.

[ I fear that someday, I won't come back. ]


74.

[ I really want to see you happy. ]


75.

[ It's getting a little crowded for me here / I need a little space to breathe ]


76.

[ There are things that I wish I had said while you were still here. Have I lost my only chance? ]


77.

[ I am a little afraid of what is waiting for me at home...but i still would not have wanted it to be anyone else. ]


78.

[ Stick around! You've got a fan. ]


79.

[ I've traversed countless stars and visited worlds beyond number. And there's no place I'd rather be than here. With you. I love you. ]


80.

[ You are the real gift. ]


81.

[ I owe you my life (and not just because of the stew) ]


82.

[ Monsters like you don't get happily every afters / No power on this world will help you when you hurt her / Just a tip. From one monster to another. ]


83.

[ I hope you find your bliss ]


84.

[ I may have come close to feeling love once. Then I realised that it could never be. I am not sure how to feel about this. ]


85.

[ This place can hurt you in so many ways. You belong with your real family. But I'm afraid, that if the chance came, I won't be able to let you go. I'd miss your smile and your laugh. You. Until I can't remember it anymore. ]

Comments

[chikaidestroyer]

Most likely not. But if someone wishes me ill, it's best to laugh, yes?

[herotypical]

Call me old fashioned, but I usually think a swift right hook to the jaw is best. [ ... ] Jeez, some of these are just so downright mean-spirited.

[chikaidestroyer]

[He answers wryly now, the smile slipping away.] One could say it conveys something about the Luceti population.

...And your right hook would break a person's jaw. [His left hook would probably have a similar effect right now.]

[herotypical]

...Sounds like justice, to me.

[chikaidestroyer]

For wishing ill upon me and saying I deserve to suffer? [He sounds amused.]

[herotypical]

For saying anyone deserves to suffer. Which -- I know -- makes me Queen of the Hypocrites. But I'll gladly be the hypocrite so other people don't have to.

[chikaidestroyer]

And others will let the words go unheeded. You need not take too much offense, Buffy, though I appreciate it. [He flexes his hand thoughtfully.]

[herotypical]

...Do you have any idea who's it was?

[chikaidestroyer]

No, not really. If it is for anything I did recently, there are only a few who know me well enough to say something like this.

[herotypical]

...And you're not nearly foolish enough to give me their names.

[chikaidestroyer]

[He snorts lightly.]

Now why would I withhold names if I had them to divulge? Obviously you will not accost them on my behalf.

[herotypical]

What? [ she laughs. ] You can't see me as your avenging champion?

[ that would never be her role. not ever. but it's sweet to joke about. ]

[chikaidestroyer]

If I were to die, it would be an unfortunate accident or my own fault. Or some mixture of those two. [He shakes his head dismissively.]

So there would be nothing to avenge. Simply move on and greet me when I return.

[It's all so nonchalant, but the idea of dying brings about a number of emotions. If was best to concentrate on the conversation at hand and not think about how there were in fact positive feelings tangled in there.]

[herotypical]

...It can't ever be that simple.

[chikaidestroyer]

I know. But I do attempt to understate such things once in awhile.

[herotypical]

You know what's sad? There aren't many people left whose temporary deaths I'd cry over. But you're one of them.

[chikaidestroyer]

[...]

Why?

[herotypical]

I'm not sure. Lots of reasons, really. 'Cause I don't believe the dead should ever walk again. Or 'cause it's finally gotten to the point where I can't pretend to be professional.

Or maybe things have hit that oh-so-awkward I-smile-when-you-smile-I-hurt-when-you-hurt stage.

[ only, y'know, minus all the romance. ]

[chikaidestroyer]

[He listens to the 'reasons' in silence, frowning wryly when he mentions that "stage."]

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. We have known each other for awhile now.

[herotypical]

Years. And yet, I still don't know enough to know if any of the above statements could be yours.

[chikaidestroyer]

I am a secretive man. [His continues in a deadpan voice.] For all you know, I could have made that secret about myself.

[herotypical]

...God, I hope not.

[chikaidestroyer]

Would you punch me? [He smiles.]

[herotypical]

If it was for your own good? Hell yes.

[chikaidestroyer]

[He's just going to laugh lightly now. It's all so ridiculous.]